Juve Tha Great

I just finished two tests and am looking to unwind a bit. With no more delay than that I present to you a matter of great urgency.


Swame. That's right, I just combined sweet and lame. The reason why is because I have no idea what to think.


I know this girl. She is actually in my National Security class that just held an exam but 2 hours ago. I heard this rumor from Kennedy a few days ago after she walked into PJ's. I was sure it wasn't going to be her. Imagine my horror. I don't think I can comment any further. All I'll do is present to you a blown up version of her nipple. Is she serious!! I feel like the Essien goal commentator. "Oh my goodness (14 sec mark)" This has to be a joke. I wanted to ask her so badly if she realized a semi-NUDE PICTURE of her is currently on the Internet. Blah blah obviously she is good looking and she actually has a shot at winning the competition but "oh my goodness" - I was worried about my blog hampering my future, this is the equivalent of posting a picture of myself with one ball hanging out of my boxers! Can you imagine going to a job interview and your employer pulls this picture up on their computer? Even better, they pull up this blog entry and show you an enlarged highly pixelated picture of your own nipple with two giant red arrows I might add specifying the location of the nipple should you not know basic anatomy! I don't think I was ready to talk about this.



I just came to a stunning realization. This isn't a joke. Somebody is standing behind her and took that picture. Maybe its an angry boyfriend trying to get back at her? Maybe it was a pledge task? Maybe... I seriously must stop. I was right, I wasnt ready to talk about it.



I can't believe I feel relieved to be moving on to this sweet... topic.

Juvenile's got that fire. All you must do is, "holler at him" should you want his "Oscar Meyer." It was Eebs who revived my passion for Juve. He reminded me of an interesting track set to the beat of, "Oye Como Va" with Juvenile rapping instead of Santana. Its called Follow Me Now and its brilliant (Its not youtube available or I would have linked it - obvi). It was so great I downloaded just about all of his 400 degreez album. This album dropped U.P.T, Back That Azz Up, HA, HA-remix, 400 degreez and, believe it or not, Juvenile on fire. All of these songs are worth your attention.


What's particularly sweet about Juve is that he doesn't rhyme. He tries to rhyme, he fails on purpose, and its glorious. He transcends musical guidelines. You know who else doesn't try to rhyme? Bob Dylan. That's right. Juvenile is the Bob Dylan of rap. Someone just yelled "prove it!" Fine:

Got you working with some ass, yeah
You bad, yeah
Make a [playa] spend his cash, yeah
His last, yeah
Hoes clown when you pass, yeah
They mad, yeah

He's just telling you a story, that's all. He keeps it audibly pleasing by having it pseudo-rhyme. Scratch that, by having it Juve-rhyme. He keeps you involved too:

You ever had corns on your fingers from squeezing the mac too much?

Juvenile suffers from this problem. So does Lil Wayne, BG, Skip, Wacko, Turk and any other hotboys I left out. I miss them. It really is too bad the Nolia (aka The Magnolia Project) they came from, was destroyed by hurricane Katrina. That better be on the list of places to rebuild. It will forever be remembered for its clap. (And no I don't mean chlamydia, I actually mean applause, but that did kind of work itself out to be humorous.)


Either I'm getting dumber, or rappers are getting smarter. In Project Pat's Tell Tell Tell his first line is, "Police say they'll let me go, if I give up all my dawgs. Don't try to assert the truth - I don't break no ghetto laws.

Patrick Earl Houston just asked his listeners not to assert the truth. I ran through a short checklist of rappers to use the word assert correctly in a sentence and nobody else comes to mind. It gets better too. The song is about peers telling on others and Project Phat uses stunning deductive skills with this line:

You went to jail same charge as my [friend] here. He got a 20 ball, I heard you got a year!?!

Sucks to be that guy - Project figured you out. The only way you could have obtained a year sentence instead of a 20 year sentence (hilariously referred to as a 20 ball, I love Pat) is because you told. Told told.

Final verdict - I'm getting dumber.


Text "Rb2" to 96000. Easy directions to obtain Rich Boy's, Throw Some D's ringtone. Do it.


R Kelley's Best Song. With great pleasure I present to you, Kells in Feelin On Your Booty. I'm so sorry. That's a lie, I'm really not sorry, but I assume you watched about as much as I did - 3 seconds. I would admit if I watched that whole video. Go back and minus the screen this time and listen to the song. Try and ignore their laughter.

If anything this helps my point. Did you see what this song does to those poor women? Similar actions occur all over the world when this songs plays - you can't blame them. Someone just yelled, "You won't do it!" I've decided to post a video of me dancing to the song. See, I couldn't resist.


In all seriousness, although I will concede I don't deserve that anymore, I really do think this is one of R's best joints. If I could have found a youtube video of the music video I would have posted that instead.


Bambale Osby. Do you remember when I introduced you to Bambale? He had a phenomenal UNC game and my Turtle representative saw him walking on campus earlier today. I believe the words she used were, "absolutely enormous." The only thing I'll say about the Terrapins for fear of jinxing a good thing is what I've already noted before - this team is special. I long for March.


Lame...

Nothing! I just finished two exams, both went well, Juve's on the playlist, what would upset me now?


I'm not ready to talk about.

MIR Pacman Jones. March Madness. The countdown. Drogba (I'm so sorry)