Your Debutante Just Knows What You Need

But I know what you want.

Sweet...

That's that. By Snoop featuring R. Kelley. This song appeared on my playlist recently at 3 a.m. after things had settled down and I listened. I was probably listening a little over intently but the first 8 seconds of the song intrigued me. To me, it sounded like water being splashed around but something wasn't exactly right. I eventually deduced after serious reflection that, knowing all the circumstances, it was a woman rising out of a bathtub whose water contained floating diamonds. The oddness of the sound of course was that the diamonds were colliding ever so slightly. I went to youtube to confirm my suspicions and behold - I was right.

Or was I? I just watched the video again (as I linked it to the blog of course) and realized there were no diamonds. In my 3 a.m. state I had imagined the woman washing herself with diamond
Thats Jim on the right and me on the left. We're in
Chicago. Holla at a playa indeed.

laced water when in reality its just H2O (the 32 sec mark). This devastating revelation easily goes under lame... as it is not often that I feel a rapper should have gone an extra step with bling only to find out they didn't.

The song of course is quite enjoyable and the video isn't bad either. A woman in platinum chainmail is "that shit" I expect from Kells and Snoop.


Any time a rapper makes me ponder - they win. Alot of lyrics have made me wonder. For example: I've always wanted to know why Manny Fresh would buy a private plane only to turn around and sell that bitch to Juve and Wayne (bling bling). I wondered what Nolia meant for Juve's "nolia clap" and so on and so forth. Before your mind wanders too far here and you come to the conclusion that rappers make you wonder all the time - i.e. Why would the Big Tymers buy a platinum football field? Is there any justification for Young Dro's girl to also have a girlfriend? Well Young Dro's girlfriend may be a legit question, but you get the point. I'm looking to be impressed here, not simply confused and then angry once I know the answer. For this standard of course I present to you (again) a great lyric from Clipse's Nightmares.

"I pilt [dudes'] girls back like alpha hydroxy"

I certainly don't know what "pilt" means but I've heard of alpha hydroxy before... maybe context clues will help here. I investigated. Alpha-Hydroxy acid it turns out is one of the active ingredients in anti-aging creams and other spa substances such as chemical peels. The acid apparently helps break up the extra cellular matrix surrounding mostly* dead skin cells that would otherwise linger, not slough off, and appear as "aged" skin. I *'ed "mostly" because the irritation and redness side effect comes from live skin cells that the acid also reacts with and irritates once the protective layer of dead cells has been removed.

Quite complex huh. Go back and recall the simile a man named "Pusha T" has presented to you and understand why I too am impressed.

Am I only going to talk about rappers this post? No, but I'm not done yet. For this next issue though, please do not mistake it for anything but lame...

I don't want no pigeons. Do you remember this feud. Hopefully not. You may remember however, that TLC didn't "want no scrubs." What's a scrub? A guy that thinks he's fine, also known as a buster. Duh. Anyway,
No. These girls don't want your number.
And no, these girls don't want to give you
theirs.

apparently some males were offended. These males sought the help of none other than the Sporty Thievez... I write again - the Sporty Thievez, to retort. They came up with this. Although I think this music video is much, much better.


I'm almost done I promise. The more I watched Kanye West seize in front Mike Meyers and thousands of people at home the more I wanted to devote an entire two weeks to that video. I instead divert my attention and leave you with The Legendary K.O. - you really don't have to watch this whole thing (remember which section this is under).

Now I'm just wasting your time - I'll move on.

continuing with the lame...

Espn commentators and their decision making. Wonder where Harold Reynolds is? I did too. Apparently, "He gave a brief and innocuous hug to a female intern,” the legal brief said. “The intern, at the time, never expressed any discomfort, and in fact had dinner with Mr. Reynolds at a Boston Market restaurant that same evening." A nice Boston Market dinner is hilariously sweet... so put that under sweet. But come on Harold, sexual harassment!

It doesn't stop there. Apparently Sean Salisbury took a picture of his genitals on a cellphone and showed unsuspecting women. The most hilarious google search of "sean salisbury penis" has the title "If Sean Salisbury Asks You To Look At His Phone, Don't Do It..." Once again a sweet... development in a mostly lame story.

Sorry about the Reynolds picture - I really couldn't resist.

I haven't picked a soccer team yet. My next post for the blog is going to be dedicated to the World Cup, a highly emotional time period for me. I mention this because after the greatest three weeks of my life, Jim and I decided to follow English Premier League soccer. He had chosen Arsenal to root for, his little brother Chelsea, and I was to choose a team of my liking. Its been awhile and I bet Jim thought I had forgotten by now. That's not true. I have in fact been watching replays of EPL soccer (and avoiding BBC the day before who spoils the scores) in an attempt to pick a good team to support. I'm a huge Christiano Ronaldo fan, but ManU was too easy to pick - plus the most recent game I watched was Arsenal-ManU and I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about that. Anyway, I'm still in the hunt for an English Premier team to like but I have to admit that I may stick to my roots and pick a South American team like River Plate or even obsess about Penarol - my Uruguayan team for which I have jersey of that no longer fits me. Lame. I just need more time.

I'm not ready to talk about:

Thierry Henry aka Thierry Unreal. D.R