Cold Case

It's been almost two years exactly since Duke's Team of Destiny were accused of raping an exotic dancer. Everyone has their own opinion on the matter but I think we can all agree the media made things worse.

Fast forward two years and guess what you get. You get the senseless murder of an academically decorated Eve Carson and the police release this photo.

Hmmmm...

I think I've seen this before

- that was my first thought. Turns out I was right. After scouring the internet I found more potential suspects. They are pictured to the left.



















<---- This one is the most promising.









You have to admit the resemblance is uncanny. And before you get upset and think I'm being inappropriate you should do a few things.

- Listen to Bob Dylan's Hurricane
- Recall that photos released of "suspects" are just that. Team of Destiny anyone?
- Sign onto Facebook and check out all the racist, bigoted comments "seemingly" outraged students have written in UNC-murder group. Wow.
- Consider that there have been 50 brown bear related deaths recorded from 1900 to 2003... meaning that alot of brown bears are getting away with murder.
- If this guy ends up being innocent, wonder whether or not thousands of Duke lawyers will back him and eventually he will counter sue for millions of dollars due to defamation. Well maybe not Duke lawyers because of the whole rivalry thing, but UNC lawyers for sure.
- Recall possibly the greatest line ever used to declare your own innocence, "You've all been told some fantastic lies." Those dukies sure are smart.

February 14th - Enter The Fray

Let's clear up a few things concerning Valentine's day:

1) This never happens ---->

Come on people - get with the program. First of all, when is the last time a girl gave some dude a Valentine's day card. And when was the last time you've smiled that much from receiving a "card." Card's suck. Not only that, but the inaccurate picture reveals something bigger at play here. A girl would never give you a material thing on Valentine's Day because women restitute your material gifts on "romantic" occasions with sexual favors.

"Honey, you got me a car (hug)!!! My gift to you is that I'm going to pretend to enjoy sex!"

I'm sure those diamond earrings I got you are gonna last as long as this ephemeral sexual moment. Awesome.

2) <----- This is also just as rare. Most women think they want to get a 144 roses at work but if this were to actually occur - they'd be very embarrassed and wish you had put this effort into something else. That's the key. Your significant other, sometimes with the help of her trifling single friends, will always think of some way your romantic efforts could have been better utilized.

The advertisements for Valentine's Day eerily remind me of another advertising campaign. That of Harrahs and Casino Queen.

Doesn't this seem familiar? --->
This picture is comical in several ways. I'm willing to ignore that there appears to be over 100 thousand dollars on the table at this moment and just accept that every number has been bet. Yet, somehow, everyone is celebrating. Unless pictured are stock holders of this particular casino, the celebration doesn't make sense. My reader(s) who frequent casinos know that the ratio of happy people to miserable people is conservatively 1 to 50. I'm content to pass that number over to Valentine's day.

One out of every fifty couples enjoy Valentine's Day with no fight or letdown. So if this year wasn't your year, don't worry, you have 49 more years to get it right.

Bitter? Of course not. Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

Something About Airplanes

It’s the return of the On-Flight Post! Unedited in its pure form except for spelling and later peer revision.

Allow me first to paint you a picture of my traveling experience thus far. My flight left this morning from the Lou, stopping in the home of Jermaine Dupri, or as he so eloquently put, last name Dupri, first name “The Boss.” – it was in some commercial or something – and finishing in the District. For those of you keeping score, that’s St Louis to Washington DC with a layover in Atlanta. Leaving at 6:10 am is quite lame but I recall the later flights being 80 one-dollar doubloons more expensive. Saving money is sweet. Anyway, I arrived at the airport at 5:15 in a hurry and only semi-conscious. This must have affected my decision-making because I would soon put on two blazers. I didn’t have anymore carry-on items left for a jacket bag and of course I can’t stuff a nice blazer into my computer bag. I accepted responsibility and put both the blazers on. The initial response from other travelers was not good but once the shock wore off, they (and me) realized that wearing two blazers was pretty awesome. So much so that my next outfit to the bars in DC will be two blazers, two polo’s, collars popped, and two undershirts with an overall color scheme of seafoam and coral. I’ll have plaid pants on, boat shoes and I’ll order white wine in a red wine glass.

A quick aside – Did you know that according to UGK there are two types of bitches… bitches that will, those that won’t, bitches that can, those that can’t and finally, bitches that know they are, and those that ain’t. RIP Chad Butler.

Back to the lame… I’m in row 31 of 31 and my seat doesn’t have a window. There is a lot of turbulence and I am getting fairly nauseated. This post may end in misery for me. I need to keep my composure because sitting next to me is a real cutie with an uncanny resemblance to the girl next door (pictured). You know how you have your head on a swivel for who is going to be your seat neighbor. You watch that fat man’s eyes and hope they don’t settle on 31. Then you see a hottie and you’re just wishing she sits next to you. Well this time it actually happened!
Rumor has it… that I definitely won’t say anything to her because I’m one of the two aforementioned types of bitches.
It’s getting to be quite awkward in fact because I don’t have a window so whenever I stop and look up to abate my dizziness I really have no choice but to stare at her in silence. She’s pretending to be asleep anyway. I don’t blame her – without my two blazers I am a simple man wearing jeans and an old rams t-shirt. I didn’t shower this morning either so I probably smell pretty bad. I will have the last word though. My plan is such that when we land I’ll ask her to hand me my blazes from the overhead and then smile coyly while I put the second one on oooover the first one. Once her shock wears off I’ll make sure to give her my number. You know, if I feel like it.

Although rare, there are times when I am embarrassed of the music I listen to. Normally I would pull up my itunes and select UGK confidently but upon further inspection of the song titles, mainly:


Grind Hard
Two Type of Bitches (singular)
Trill [People] Don’t Lie (my edit)
Chrome Plated Woman

I think I’ll minimize the screen this time. After all, there is no reason my seat neighbors need to see that I’m listening to “Swishas and Dosha.”

Well that’s all I got for you, it was a short hour and eleven minute flight from Dupri to the District. Hope you enjoyed it and ask me later if you want to know how the plan turned out.

I’m not ready to talk about:
How effing motion sick I am. This guy is drunk behind the handles.