By No Means

I made it - kind of. This semester left me bloodied and gored and when Johns Hopkins found me unconscious they did not call my emergency contact. I can't say I'm particularly surprised. One thing I actually did learn this semester though is that I have quite an imagination when I'm sleep deprived. Hopefully you readers benefit from this because I imagined a lot of things that are sweet...

The transitive property would suggest I too have a laser, rocket arm. Peyton Manning and I have the same birthday!! How about that ice-breaker. I imagine the conversation would go something like this:

Me - Hey Peyton. Did you know that you and I have the same birthday?

Peyton - No way! That's pretty cool. What'd you say your name was again?

Me - I hadn't said it yet.

Peyton - Well Juan, Jeff Saturday and I were just on our way to Morocco to smoke quinalbarbitone and eat some authentic pastilla. Wanna join us?

Me - Sorry I can't. That sounds pretty fun though.

Peyton - Ya, you should probably study for your genetics exam anyway...
(Turns to walk away)
Peyton - Oh ya, don't forget that heterochromatin can spread into euchromatin and silence genes. I think its called position-effect variegation.

Me - Thanks. I'll try not to.


Malice and Pusha-T's lyrical prominence. Several lyrics within the epic Hell Hath No Fury album are worth noting. I suspect that I'll actually note all of them eventually. This particular line however made me smile more than usual.

I fly them in quick. I fly them out even quicker.
By no means, am I in love with a stripper

Malice is of course referring to T-Pain's I'm in love with a stripper. (I'm actually sorry about this link) I misidentified this song to be by Usher for so long that I now actually assume it is Usher. After Malice poked fun at T-Pain, who I associate to be Usher, it got me thinking that Ursher is really getting housed within the rapper community. This isn't the first time either - Paul Wall claims that he puts on two condoms because he "doesn't want to be in bed getting burned like Usher." Ouch. We all make mistakes Paul. And by the way Mr. Slayton, putting on two condoms instead of one is actually worse - you may get burned.

This reminds me - when is the last time I've heard Usher's Burn. Even though I like Usher, I do appreciate other rappers joking about a fairly serious situation. Laughter is the best medicine. Or maybe for Usher, The Morning After pill would be slightly better.


If I could emulate one man, it'd probably be Leo. Like an expensive whiskey, DiCaprio has grown to be quite tasty with age. I present to you his resume: The Quick and the Dead, Romeo + Juliet, The Man in the Iron Mask, Titanic, Gangs of New York, Catch Me if You Can, The Aviator, The Departed and now Blood Diamond. Also part of his resume, the woman standing next to him in the picture, The Giselle. I have seen all of the mentioned movies and was thoroughly impressed with Departed, Catch, Gangs and Titanic (the rest on the This is the face he makes after
someone yells, "Leo! I want to be you!!!"

list left me quite satisfied too). Giselle is alright I guess.
In summary, the man refuses to disappoint.

He is very selective with his roles and puts himself in situations in which he can succeed. James Cameron, Tom Hanks, Martin Scorsese (twice), and even Jennifer Connelly. His upcoming productions are Blink, The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt and The Chancellor Manuscript. You can bet I'll be watching.


Wheezy F. Your Reverend. I was listening to Stuntin Like My Daddy the other day and two parts of the song confused me. The line reads: "I'm a pipe and she's like a crack addict. She saw me cooking eggs and thought I was back at it." I don't know much about the production of crack cocaine but now we all know to be more cautious when cooking eggs.

For the second confusing moment I turn to you readers and ask for your help. If you listen carefully, when Wayne says "How you want it, show me my opponent....show me my opponent." During the "...." there are some interesting sounds. I can't really describe it so I'll just come out and disclose what I'm thinking. I think Carter says, "show me my opponent," then grabs some popcorn out of a popcorn bag, begins eating it, and with his mouth full repeats, "show me my opponent." Does anyone else hear that? Your input would be much appreciated.

Wondering where my lame... section is? I've finished school but haven't started the holidays yet. I have nothing to do but catch up on sleep and watch sports. (Shrugging shoulders) not much is lame to me right now.

I'm not ready to talk about:

Babel