What a weekend for everything St. Louis and Cardinals. The St. Louis Cardinals as you may have been watching learned the hard way that Josh Hancock is on the Mets payroll and apparently the normal laws of physics don't apply in the Edward Jones dome. It doesn't stop there though: The Arizona Cardinals imploded, this slightly annoys me, the Ball State Cardinals lost to Central Michigan, the Louisville Cardinals didn't even cover and the Lamar Cardinals are clearly the Lamar Cardinals. The only team St. Louis that won was the Blues - but they are actually terrible so it doesn't really help. The following I feel defines sweet...
Twenty on Twelve. I don't really know how to tell this story. If you read last week's post you may remember I was but hours away from accompanying John, Zach, Andrew and Eebs to Atlantic City. The trip turned out to be pretty boring. Here's why: I lost $150, Eebs lost 500, John 650, Zach 900, and Blumberg lost a stunning 1.1k. That's a lot of money. A nice fraction of the losings came from craps. The night of craps started with me. My first time rolling was dreadfully average but my second time around I actually lost everyone at the table upwards of 500 dollars. It was terrible. The only person who had a somewhat decent night rolling was John. Feeling pretty bad we decided to go play roulette. After about an hour or so at the table with a pleasant, encouraging Indian girl and her classy, articulate boyfriend, John grew bored and decided to put $100 on red. Needless to say he lost. Blumberg had seen enough. He decided he was going to make us all a lot of money by putting 20$ on the number 12 until it hit. He put 20 on twelve a grueling 35 times until finally he decided to cut his loses and walk away having lost 700 dollars. After that catastrophic display of gambling we all decided to leave. To make matters just a little bit worse the breakfast place we visited was out of steak and eggs and there was traffic on the way home (which there wasn't on the way up). What a disaster*.
*By the way, this could be a language barrier thing, but I just realized that instead of "lost" I apparently meant "won" and any synonyms of "terrible" should actually be synonyms of "amazing." I may have told the exact opposite story actually. Sorry for any confusion.
Chipotle. The place refuses to let me down. Black beans, half chicken half steak, corn salsa, a little bit of red, sour cream, cheese and a little bit of lettuce. That's what I tell the people. They like me.
Lately alot has been quite lame...
New York Rain. Biblical flooding must be occuring in New York City these days. At four o'clock on game day, this is four hours before the scheduled game time of 8 et (which is actually 8:45), I heard talks ofpostponingg the game because as the ESPN correspondent put it, "It is pouring." At 7:30 the game was ppd'd. Unbelievable - how does it rain that long. I'm no scientist....Actuallyy I kind of am - Every inch of rain is equivalent to 6 inches of snow. I checked this with some website that says 10, but instead of selling out and putting 6-10, I'm quite sure its 6, that site can screw itself. Anyway, it rained something like 6 inches in NYC.That's 36 inches of snow and absolute insanity.
I had my nightly plans and everything. The best part about baseball at 8 is that it ends at 1230. A nice time to go to out afterward if its a win and equally nice to go to sleep in the fetal position furious if they lose.
My Girl Does Not Have A Girlfriend. That probably doesn't make much sense. Either way, what I'm referring to is the fact that I did end up seeing that girl I said I wasn't going to ask out, and I didn't (this was 30 minutes ago). The one other time I actually grew the stones to do something like this it worked out amazing. It turned out terrible, but still. Granted she was at a big table of people when I saw her, but still, fack.
My So-called "Picks" Section. I did so poorly I'm sticking with it. Only because I need to prove to people I'm not a complete d-bag. In an ideal world you two readers out there would check this before making any wagers. Just so that you don't scroll down or check the spreads to see how poorly I did, I'll go ahead and tell you I went 2-7 and a 1-4 on my "specialty." Now that is a poorly told joke.
Mike Wilbon. He's sitting at a computer in the library right in front me. I'm not joking. I tried to explain to Altair who Mike Wilbon is just so that she can back me on this.
LimeWire's Glitch. So for some reason when I search for... anything on LimeWire the first two options are: "Affordable Music for .50 cents" and my personal favorite, "Looking for a Date: Call Me." Really. I didn't know Brooks and Dunn are looking for a date, and that I should call them. Fascinating.
I'm realizing right now this probably means I have a virus and at the least a tremendous amounts of SpyWare.
Haircuts. I need a haircut pretty badly. Nothing abnormal, but I'm conflicted because I'm thinking I may want to grow it out again. I received such a negative response last time I had it flowing that I don't know if I can take that kind of martyrdom again. I say martyrdom because Nick is doing the mane justice currently. I love it by the way, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. So what is actually lame you ask? People that hated on my unstyled, ungroomed, girl-like hair a year ago. You know who you are.
I'm not ready to talk about:
Comments that may or may not have been said with regards to Blumberg's hitting of 20 on 12.
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2 comments:
unless you turn into a two time nba mvp i don't think you have an excuse to have a little girl mushroom cereal bowl head.
"your conscience" is so clearly jon arnstein that he might as well have signed his name. i'm pretty sure jon isn't actually your conscience, because if he were, you would have died about six years ago. also, i think i'm going long again, so if you're going steve nash you won't be alone.
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