Enjoy the Show

I'll get right to it.

The following is also known as an mpeg layer 3 recorder, lame…

Beyonce. Here's the pitch:

Alright Beyonce, you've won three Grammys, you've been in a few films, you actually have a wikipedia page dedicated to your awards. You're probably in the prime of your career and because of that we want you to endorse Directv by putting a gold plated size 72 font placard in your mouth. You're gonna dance around like an idiot, gold will be everywhere - you'll be lying in it, draped in it and again, some of it will be in your mouth. For the grand finale you're going to shake your crotch at the camera singing, lemme lemme lemme lemme lemme upgrade-ja.

Does her agent still have a job? Is she even managed at all? Haven't seen it yet? Watch Beyonce commit career suicide. Yeesh.

Now that Beyonce has let you down, you can turn your attention to these next two individuals, both of whom are sweet...

Justin Bobby. I'll explain why I've been watching The Hills later. More important than that is the magic JB pulls off every episode. I speak most notably of episode 17 - when Justin Bobby goes to a club with his girlfriend (Audrina) only to eventually cheat on her with another girl... at the bar... in front of everyone.

I know what you're thinking - Juan, that's not sweet, that's quite dumb in fact. And it would be dumb if he didn't emerge from this whole event looking sweeter than before. My proof? Later in the same episode, Spencer's sister (who is simply Spencer's twin with long hair) was at the very same bar recounting the events of that night... My paraphrase: This guy Justin Bobby was there, and cheated on the girl he was with, but he seemed like the nicest one of the group.

The new buzzword for, "treat that girl like garbage and she'll still love you" is, Justin-Bobby that hoe. Thank Soulja Boy for the inspiration.

Isaac. I'll explain why I've been watching the Real World later. For several seasons of the Real World there hasn't been a truly likable character. You would think cast members were hot, but you wouldn't actually like them. Isaac's lovable freakout and the way he has brought the house together has made him the most likable character I can remember as of recent. Chatahoochee gets honorable mention for his deadpan hoosier wisdom for everything as well. Up until the most recent episode, which was filler at best, this season has been very entertaining.

Back to the incredibly lame...

Pimp C found dead. Chad Butler by himself was just a simple man who loved shellfish, but along side of Bun B he formed the likes of a formidable and fascinating rap group known as the Underground Kingz (UGK). Some of my (and Jim's) favorite Pimp C lyrics are:

Smowk sumthin beeeeeeeeetch (:06 mark warning, quite lewd after that)

I eat so many shrimp, I got iodine poisoning (1:28 mark, also inappropriate before/after that)

Maybe you should just take my word for it instead. In summary, it sucks that he's dead and I am intrigued to see what Bun B will do about this.

Continuing with the mostly lame...

The Victoria Secret Fashion Show 2007. Underwhelming is the word I would use to describe it (and just did). Here is what you'll see if you don't want to watch the whole show- which I'm not quite sure why you wouldn't, but still:

~Models constantly trying to pump up the crowd - they knew they were laying an egg too

~Way too many blown kisses - two kisses at most per show and it works, more than that and you don't feel special (they're blowing you the kiss after all)

~Artistic outfits missing the mark - if you find yourself tilting your head slightly to the side in a confused manner when you see them don't be surprised

~Alessandro mails it in - I can't tell if she thinks she is getting too big for VS or if she was just coked up.

~Too much Heidi - I never thought it would come to this but you can tell they're really missing Gisele. This year has shown that Heidi cannot support the show by herself.

Not everything was lame though, some sweet bright spots were:

~Karonlina Kurkova - pictured in my favorite outfit and entrance. She was last year's hands down MVP and would be this year if it weren't for

~Miranda Kerr - "little miss cutie" as Jeff put it

~Selita Ebanks - near flawless if it weren't for that really dumb hands outfit.
~The New Girl - The winner of the on-campus model search, out of USC (of course), absolutely kills it (18:40 mark)

I will end this post on something lame I have been meaning to talk about.

"Well done is better than well said." -Tom Brady. If I were in the midst of history I would think of better quotes than that. The quote sucks. I'm not even sure I know what it means.

Before I forget - here is the shirt I just purchased. http://www.freemikevick.com/

I'm not ready to talk about:

I hope you're all effing happy. 23 months. And for what. For what? Fighting dogs. I thought this was America

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