Big 11en
Let me begin by saying that, as I write this, its 6:00 am on March 7. I am currently on the backend of an all-nighter intended to produce a draft of my thesis (due last week) before spring break. Seeing how I slept until 4:00 pm yesterday and that I had three donuts and two cups of coffee over the course of tonight, I don’t really know if I’m tired or hungry or just delirious. I also just tried to spell delirious with a z, so we may have a winner. As I take a break from plagiarizing writing and try to get my life back on track, here are my thoughts on the Big Ten.
Welcome to the Big Stage – or at least so the conference claims in their marketing. I’ve always thought they should focus more on their logo.
See the 11…mind-blowing. On to the teams.
THE Ohio State University
If you’re expecting an actual look at the Big Ten, you’ve come to wrong place, and not just because you’re reading Juan’s blog. Instead, about 95 percent of what you are about to get is going to relate to the Buckeyes. Why? That’s why. Big Wins. Big Money. Big Spirit. Not to mention the fact that 335 other D-I teams all want to be where the Buckeyes are now. There’s also the fact that I am too lazy to look up stats and rosters for other teams.
Barring disaster this week in Chicago, the two-time Big Ten champs are poised to be the one-seed in the Midwest (Stl.) Region. Here are some brief clichés/talking points you are going hear (me use) about the Scarlet and Gray:
Greg Oden – I won’t compare him to Patrick Ewing, because the Patrick Ewing I remember was old and slow. Clearly, he’s the Vincent Van Gogh of shot blocking, and does have the offense to takeover games (he’s done it multiple times this year). Has an infinite number of facebook friends. Great dancer.
Mike Conley, Jr. – The new one-man fast break. Possibly the best pure athlete to play at Ohio State since Ted Ginn. Old-school PG (i.e. he can’t shoot).
Ron Lewis – “Has been making big-shots for four years.” Announcers love that line.
Jamar Butler – Consummate team guy…actually not all. Was furious at having to shift to the two for Conley, and only recently has accepted that he is the fifth of sixth most important member of this team.
Ivan Harris – A 6-7 swingman starting at PF, in what basically amounts to four guard offense. Nicely compliments…
…Othello Hunter – Can spell Oden (in an athletic not linguistic sense). More of a true PF.
Daequon Cook – An athlete and shoot first, ask questions last sixth man. In all seriousness, he is going to be extremely good.
Dave Lighty – Must be referred to as “defensive specialist David Lighty.” May or may not have shot a man in his Cleveland days.
So, what’s this team going to do in March?
They’re fearless, have a bunch of shooters, a dominant big man, a PG who rarely turns the ball over, and a coach with tournament experience. They are also going to be a one-seed. If this team doesn’t reach the elite-8 they will have underachieved.
Basically, it is Final Four or bust, and I am thinking hit on 18. First, while they’ve learned how to win close games, they haven’t shown an ability to put away teams. They’ve won games despite blowing big leads in some games and letting opponents hang around in others. This seems like the sort of thing that catches up to a team in March. Second, Greg Oden will get into foul trouble at least once in the tournament, if for no other reason than in big games refs seem to call ticky-tack fouls on him as if to make a point that he’s not getting preferential treatment (it happened against Florida, Indiana, and at Wisconsin). It’s kind of like how this season Lebron gets about one-fourth of the calls that (softer) guys like D-Wade and Gilbert get: refs don’t want to anoint Jordan status quite yet.
Speaking of Thebron and the Buckeyes, in what is possibly the single best development of the college basketball season, Ohio State’s uni’s will now be adorned with the “LJ23” logo, rather than the swoosh. In the tradition of this blog’s namesake, I cannot begin to imagine anything more sweet.
It is kind of hard to see in this picture. If I knew how to zoom in on it, the way Juan did to that girl’s nipple, I would. Also, I am pretty sure we are mere weeks away from Nike’s inevitable unveiling of Kennedy’s jersey idea.
Apparently breaking out new duds for tourney season Nike’s new new thing. Most regrettable is Florida’s Gator-skinned affront to the game. I would make a joke about Joakim Noah looking even prettier in gator skin, but that would be too easy. Ok, sorry.
Nike also just dropped its latest jersey concoction: skintight spandex with extra baggy shorts and optional “customizable” undershirts. I am
personally ashamed that T-OSU is anyway involved with such insanity. If I’m Lebron, I sign with addidas in protest. They say the jerseys are 10-inches tighter in the torso. I don’t even know what that means, but I am pretty sure Tim Hardaway hates it.
The sad part is I am sure this is how people reacted when Nike invented baggy shorts (via the Fab Five), and that these things will look normal in a couple years.
Sorry about the fashion rant. Turning briefly to the other bowl-eligible teams…
Wisconsin
Sell. The Brian Butch injury is as important as it is horrific. Great guards but they are thin inside – sounds like they are a bad matchup waiting to happen.
Indiana
A tourney lock, but you could have fooled me based on the little I’ve seen. I can’t imagine them winning a game in the tourney, which probably puts them in the sweet 16.
Michigan State
Dangerous. If you’re a one-seed, you do not want to catch MSU as your 8 or 9. Raymar Morgan is so Michigan State. Three things about Drew Neitzel:
1. He looks straight out of an Eli Wiesel novel.
2. I’ve heard people say he plays like Mark Price, and I agree. Mark Price was pretty much my childhood hero and possibly my favorite non-Lebron player of all-time. Aside from their size and race, the biggest similarity between the two is the ability to binge-score and the way they use screens. I have vivid memories of Mark Price splitting defenders after receiving a screen, and also using high pick-and-rolls for the sole purpose of jacking-up his own shots. Neitzel does this also, so yeah, I’m a fan.
3. I’ve also heard people say he plays like Tim Hardaway, which I just think is funny.
Purdue/Illinois
Supposedly both on the edge of the bubble, and supposedly both in, according to Lunardi. More likely whomever does better in the Big 10 tourney gets in (leaving the conference with 5 not 6). Whatever, they are both one-and-done in the real thing.
Michigan
You shouldn’t give a damn about the whole state of Michigan. They technically are on the bubble, but realistically are not making the tourney unless they do something crazy this week. I’ve only included them here to mention the most audacious man in college basketball, Brent Petway. With the help of his barber, Petway nearly got the Wolverines in the Dance by shocking Ohio State last Saturday. Oh well, enjoy the NIT.
I hate it, but it is pretty cool.
Let me begin by saying that, as I write this, its 6:00 am on March 7. I am currently on the backend of an all-nighter intended to produce a draft of my thesis (due last week) before spring break. Seeing how I slept until 4:00 pm yesterday and that I had three donuts and two cups of coffee over the course of tonight, I don’t really know if I’m tired or hungry or just delirious. I also just tried to spell delirious with a z, so we may have a winner. As I take a break from plagiarizing writing and try to get my life back on track, here are my thoughts on the Big Ten.
Welcome to the Big Stage – or at least so the conference claims in their marketing. I’ve always thought they should focus more on their logo.
See the 11…mind-blowing. On to the teams.
THE Ohio State University
If you’re expecting an actual look at the Big Ten, you’ve come to wrong place, and not just because you’re reading Juan’s blog. Instead, about 95 percent of what you are about to get is going to relate to the Buckeyes. Why? That’s why. Big Wins. Big Money. Big Spirit. Not to mention the fact that 335 other D-I teams all want to be where the Buckeyes are now. There’s also the fact that I am too lazy to look up stats and rosters for other teams.
Barring disaster this week in Chicago, the two-time Big Ten champs are poised to be the one-seed in the Midwest (Stl.) Region. Here are some brief clichés/talking points you are going hear (me use) about the Scarlet and Gray:
Greg Oden – I won’t compare him to Patrick Ewing, because the Patrick Ewing I remember was old and slow. Clearly, he’s the Vincent Van Gogh of shot blocking, and does have the offense to takeover games (he’s done it multiple times this year). Has an infinite number of facebook friends. Great dancer.
Mike Conley, Jr. – The new one-man fast break. Possibly the best pure athlete to play at Ohio State since Ted Ginn. Old-school PG (i.e. he can’t shoot).
Ron Lewis – “Has been making big-shots for four years.” Announcers love that line.
Jamar Butler – Consummate team guy…actually not all. Was furious at having to shift to the two for Conley, and only recently has accepted that he is the fifth of sixth most important member of this team.
Ivan Harris – A 6-7 swingman starting at PF, in what basically amounts to four guard offense. Nicely compliments…
…Othello Hunter – Can spell Oden (in an athletic not linguistic sense). More of a true PF.
Daequon Cook – An athlete and shoot first, ask questions last sixth man. In all seriousness, he is going to be extremely good.
Dave Lighty – Must be referred to as “defensive specialist David Lighty.” May or may not have shot a man in his Cleveland days.
So, what’s this team going to do in March?
They’re fearless, have a bunch of shooters, a dominant big man, a PG who rarely turns the ball over, and a coach with tournament experience. They are also going to be a one-seed. If this team doesn’t reach the elite-8 they will have underachieved.
Basically, it is Final Four or bust, and I am thinking hit on 18. First, while they’ve learned how to win close games, they haven’t shown an ability to put away teams. They’ve won games despite blowing big leads in some games and letting opponents hang around in others. This seems like the sort of thing that catches up to a team in March. Second, Greg Oden will get into foul trouble at least once in the tournament, if for no other reason than in big games refs seem to call ticky-tack fouls on him as if to make a point that he’s not getting preferential treatment (it happened against Florida, Indiana, and at Wisconsin). It’s kind of like how this season Lebron gets about one-fourth of the calls that (softer) guys like D-Wade and Gilbert get: refs don’t want to anoint Jordan status quite yet.
Speaking of Thebron and the Buckeyes, in what is possibly the single best development of the college basketball season, Ohio State’s uni’s will now be adorned with the “LJ23” logo, rather than the swoosh. In the tradition of this blog’s namesake, I cannot begin to imagine anything more sweet.It is kind of hard to see in this picture. If I knew how to zoom in on it, the way Juan did to that girl’s nipple, I would. Also, I am pretty sure we are mere weeks away from Nike’s inevitable unveiling of Kennedy’s jersey idea.
Apparently breaking out new duds for tourney season Nike’s new new thing. Most regrettable is Florida’s Gator-skinned affront to the game. I would make a joke about Joakim Noah looking even prettier in gator skin, but that would be too easy. Ok, sorry.
Nike also just dropped its latest jersey concoction: skintight spandex with extra baggy shorts and optional “customizable” undershirts. I am
personally ashamed that T-OSU is anyway involved with such insanity. If I’m Lebron, I sign with addidas in protest. They say the jerseys are 10-inches tighter in the torso. I don’t even know what that means, but I am pretty sure Tim Hardaway hates it.The sad part is I am sure this is how people reacted when Nike invented baggy shorts (via the Fab Five), and that these things will look normal in a couple years.
Sorry about the fashion rant. Turning briefly to the other bowl-eligible teams…
Wisconsin
Sell. The Brian Butch injury is as important as it is horrific. Great guards but they are thin inside – sounds like they are a bad matchup waiting to happen.
Indiana
A tourney lock, but you could have fooled me based on the little I’ve seen. I can’t imagine them winning a game in the tourney, which probably puts them in the sweet 16.
Michigan State
Dangerous. If you’re a one-seed, you do not want to catch MSU as your 8 or 9. Raymar Morgan is so Michigan State. Three things about Drew Neitzel:
1. He looks straight out of an Eli Wiesel novel.
2. I’ve heard people say he plays like Mark Price, and I agree. Mark Price was pretty much my childhood hero and possibly my favorite non-Lebron player of all-time. Aside from their size and race, the biggest similarity between the two is the ability to binge-score and the way they use screens. I have vivid memories of Mark Price splitting defenders after receiving a screen, and also using high pick-and-rolls for the sole purpose of jacking-up his own shots. Neitzel does this also, so yeah, I’m a fan.
3. I’ve also heard people say he plays like Tim Hardaway, which I just think is funny.
Purdue/Illinois
Supposedly both on the edge of the bubble, and supposedly both in, according to Lunardi. More likely whomever does better in the Big 10 tourney gets in (leaving the conference with 5 not 6). Whatever, they are both one-and-done in the real thing.
Michigan
You shouldn’t give a damn about the whole state of Michigan. They technically are on the bubble, but realistically are not making the tourney unless they do something crazy this week. I’ve only included them here to mention the most audacious man in college basketball, Brent Petway. With the help of his barber, Petway nearly got the Wolverines in the Dance by shocking Ohio State last Saturday. Oh well, enjoy the NIT.I hate it, but it is pretty cool.
So that’s that. Back to work. If anyone is curious about my thoughts on Eisenhower’s anti-communist rhetoric in the context of the Hungarian Revolution, I can post that too.
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